A parody (and an anagram) of myself

My sister Lisa brought me a copy of a fun book titled Holy Tango (Anthology) of Literature, by Francis Heaney. It's a compilation of poetry and drama parodies with titles that are anagrams of the parodied author's names.

For example, there's a Maya Angelou poem: "Yoga Alumnae." And a scene from a play by Edward Albee: "A Wee Bladder."

The book is a fun diversion, and it inspired me to do a blog post that's both an anagram of my name and a parody of my blogging style.



Doing My Wall
By Molly Wigand

Well, it's been quite a day. On top of trying to figure out Photoshop and play very hard songs on my crappy guitar I undertook the incredibly important and daunting task of choosing posters for my dorm room.

Back in 1974, the last time I was in college, I would have visited a head shop to find a poster. But I was nervous that purchases at the Electric Fetus would generate a red flag on the corporate card.

So I took the bus to the downtown Target store, which has escalators that hold your shopping cart (seriously), and passed several favorite landmarks...the liquor store where I bought the tequila that provided my first dormitory drinking blackout back in 1974, the last time I was in college...the office where I stuffed envelopes as a temp when I couldn't get a journalism job to save my life...the lunch counter where my Dad and I had lunch and both were exposed to hepatitis and consequently had to get gamma globulin shots two weeks later.

I found Target's poster display, but which one to choose? I don't have a black light anymore, though I did back in 1974, the last time I was in college, so the pop-art unicorn was out. I could go ironic with a cute kitty "Hang In There" photo. Target doesn't carry "You are you and I am I and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful," although they used to. In 1974. The last time I was in college.

You have no idea how challenging it is attending summer school and making decisions of this caliber every day.

I decided to put off the purchase until another day and returned to the dorm, where athletes were stealing all the grilled cheese sandwiches while swearing their heads off.

Back in my room, the yellow walls had a calming effect, They created the illusion of monastic life, or possibly prison. And it made me stop to think. Buying a poster could send me into a tailspin of needing tape or poster hanging putty stuff and possibly falling off my chair while I was hanging it all alone in my room, without a spotter.

I'm a different person now than I was back in 1974, the last time I was in college. I have faith that the perfect poster is out there, somewhere, waiting for me to give it a home. And one of these days, that's just what I'll do.