As I think I've mentioned in a previous post, It's been a long time since I've tried something that really stretched my abilities. I've been fortunate to have found my calling at an early age and have achieved different degrees of success more or less riffing on it ever since. I love to write. It comes easily to me. Some of my writing seems to bring people some joy. It is one sweet gig, and I''ve never taken it for granted.
By contrast, beginning my web design class has been a significant challenge. Not only am I not the quickest study in the Dreamweaver tutorials. but for one of the only times in my life, I seem to be the one who makes the instructor wince.
Here's how the instructions sound to me: "Go to the server, open WDI files, section 1, drag and drop into design view, click the Common tab, type the html in the code view..."
He doesn't seem to like it when I say things like, "What's a server?"
Okay, I'm exaggerating, both about the convoluted instructions and my dunce-like response. But it is definitely taking me awhile to catch on.
I know I'll figure it out eventually. But it astounds me to observe the 20-somethings in the class with their good eyes and sharp minds doing the computing equivalent of "hunt and peck," clicking around with the mouse, accomplishing the task and then having time to file their nails will I catch up., I'm in "fake it till you make it" mode, getting some but not all of the concepts, and feeling very insecure and somewhat clueless till I can get back to my desk and read the (paper) manual.
For the record, our instructor is utterly patient and kind, But I've taught adults before, and I know how it feels to see the same hand raised all the time to ask for help with something that's second nature to me..
The experience is helping me grow some extra empathy for Timmy WIlson and other kids in my early childhood who didn't get school. It's about time I took my turn on the other end of a teacher's exasperation.
I truly believe It's good for me (and maybe everyone) to have the wind knocked out of the ego once in awhile.
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7 comments:
Molly, in case of panic, email me and I'll send you the instructions to get on VTC.com, where as a member of creative, you have access to online training videos in Dreamweaver and other Web Design tools.
A book is good, but watching somebody do something "again" reinforces that you "get it."
Fake it till you make it only takes you so far. You probably wish you had enrolled in printmaking, instead.
That's great Molly. I guess it's why you go to college. I'm feeling your pain right now myself. I've moved over to Innovations and am learning how to animate. The first week I was very uncomfortable. This week I'm still uncomfortable. I think the trick is going to be getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
If you need server space (for example, if theirs isn't working correctly), let me know and I'll carve out a slice for you on mine. 'Cause, like, I control the universe and stuff. (But only in my office. The Insta-Princess has thus declared it so.)
I think trying new things, especially those that are far out of your comfort zone, is really good for your soul. It reminds me of when I took yoga. I spent two years watching my thighs quiver uncontrollably and literally falling over (often) in front of young, skinny, flexible people.
But eventually I got it so it was "good enough." And then I had a sense of achievement more than I had ever experienced. I think you will also have a similar sense of gratification. And it won't take 2 years. I was a slow learner.
When I tell my friends just a snippet of what you're doing (back in school, away from family, in the dorm, no car, new classes, living by the fb team), most of them say, "Man, she is waaaaay braver than I am."
I am very proud of you.
I think Ana, aka betty, is right. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable sounds like a good idea.
Hope you like your animating gig. I know you'll be great. We're just barely dabbling in Flash in this class, so my college beanie's off to you! Thanks for the comment.
Love you, Mol - and miss you, too. You make me proud of the human race. I've been fearful of many things collegiate ever since I accidentally signed up for meteorology (30 years ago at KU) and ended up crying by the end of every lab while other people just did the tasks.
I passed the course by memorizing every line in the textbook and notes so I could ace the paper exams.
It was not really a growth experience, although I can see that it had the potential to be one.
Also, change of subject, Gene is going to Minnesota Community Technical University to study air-traffic control starting in August. So, how weird is that.
Jeannie
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